And the meaningless little statuette goes to...

I've been berated for not having posted in a while. My internet was AWOL for nearly two weeks, but now I'm back and likely no better than I was before.

My last unsolicited fit was caused by my immense level of frustration with the political system. I was made even more depressed by a conversation with Jonny Walls in which we both agreed that the system is a complete disaster and we still can't think of a better one. Ugh.

I'll lighten the mood with this post.

The somethingth annual Oscars are tomorrow night and I will be paying attention. The general consensus among people I know is that the Oscars are interesting, but almost always wrong. I get that. Annie Hall over Star Wars, Shakespeare in Love over Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump over Pulp Fiction: all atrocities. And I really really like all the movies that won, it's just that they had no business beating the others. And then there are the all-time great movies which don't get nominated. Do the Right Thing, Children of Men, The Big Lebowski (I'm only partly joking) and Fight Club weren't even sniffed in the Best Picture category.

All that said, I'll still watch and root for the movies I think are best for each category. I've seen all the Best Picture nominees and a healthy number of others with nominations, so I feel pretty confident in my votes. However, I'll not bore you with a dull Academy Award prediction list. Instead, I'll bore you with a "my favorite movie moments of all-time list." Below are five of my favorite (I can't promise they're my five favorite) movie moments of all-time. I'd like to go a little off the beaten path to find these, and would encourage you to post a few of your favorites and why you like them so much. A lot of great moments will get shafted, so let me hear about it.

VERBAL WALKS AWAY, from The Usual Suspects: If you haven't seen this movie by now, you're a fool. The end of this twisting crime caper tale packs a heavy punch and when Kevin Spacey's character, "Verbal" Kint, makes his grand final exit, it's like getting kicked in the groin and punched in the back of the head simultaneously. And, please, don't lie and say you saw it coming the entire time. If you've seen it, you know exactly what I and that barber shop quartet from Skokie, Illinois are talking about.

THORWALD GETS WISE, from Rear Window: Alfred Hitchcock is my favorite director and Rear Window is my favorite of his films, just edging out North by Northwest, Vertigo, Psycho, and probably Rebecca. Each of those have great moments - Cary Grant diving under an oncoming plane in NXNW, Jimmy Stewart watching his transformed former love emerge from that green fog in his hotel room, and, obviously, the shower scene - but none matches the few minutes Grace Kelly spends searching suspected murderer Lars Thorwald's apartment for his missing wife's wedding band. As Jimmy Stewart looks on, stuck in his wheelchair, Grace shows us the ring, and Thorwald breaks the fourth dimension for the first time. When Rear Window opened in 1954, people in the theater actually screamed when this happened.

FATHER BARRY'S SPEECH, from On the Waterfront: Marlon Brando is absolutely sensational as Terry Malloy in this movie full of great moments - The "I coulda been a contendah" speech comes to mind - but Karl Malden's speech as Father Barry after a dock worker has been killed following his attempt to stand up to corrupt union bosses is a bona fide chill inducer, especially when he continues through the boos and thrown refuse to invoke the name of Jesus as the protector of every abused man on the docks.

THE FORCE CAVE, from The Empire Strikes Back: OK, so my favorite movie was bound to find its way on here. As Luke is training with Yoda on Dagobah following the Battle of Hoth, he senses a powerful surge in the dark side of the force coming from an underground cave. Refusing to listen to his master, he enters the cave armed not only with his weapons, but with equal doses of fear and self-doubt. Luke engages the force-created image of Vader with his lightsaber, decapitating his enemy, only to find the face revealed behind Vader's mask is his own. This is the precise moment when the Star Wars franchise went from a great adventure/fantasy story, to being a darker, more grown up literary exercise on the nature of good and evil. All of this would be undone 29 years later by Jar-Jar Binks.

RINGO AND THE RIGHTEOUS MAN, from Pulp Fiction: Having just watched this again for the first time in a while, I am reminded just how awesome this scene is, not only by itself, but as the conclusion of all the debauched criminal activity we've seen unfold over the previous two-plus hours. Tarantino's gift for dialogue is on full display here as Jules Winnefield simultaneously holds down the fort during a diner robbery while also managing to expose some hard-hitting personal truths, anchored by made up Biblical scripture. When, at the end of his monologue, Jules' voice is shaking and he tells us just how hard he's trying to be the righteous man from Ezekial 25:17, it's hard not to agree with the man's wallet.

So, there you have them. Five really awesome movie moments from my own personal bank. Think up a couple of your own and let me have 'em. If this doesn't garner response, I don't know what will.

P.S. - Oscar Picks (Which I think will win, not necessarily who should)

Best Picture - No Country for Old Men (will and should)

Best Actor - Daniel Day-Lewis (will and should; this category is stacked)

Best Actress - Julie Christie (I've only seen Ellen Page's performance, so I can' t really judge, but Christie's got the buzz)

Best Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem (will and should, although this is a stacked category)

Best Supporting Actress - I'm hearing a lot of good stuff about Cate Blanchett, and Oscar loves her so it's a safe pick. Funnily enough, I didn't see her movie (I'm Not There), but did see the other four which picked up nominations. I liked Amy Ryan a lot (Gone Baby Gone) and hope she wins. If its Ruby Dee (American Gangster), I'll be upset, because she's in the movie for about ten minutes total and doesn't really support anything. However, she IS old, which seems to count double in the supporting categories).

Best Original Screenplay - This is a tough one. I'll bet Juno wins, but I hope it's Michael Clayton. Ratatouille being here is awesome, too, and a win would do wonders for Animation.

Best Adapted Screenplay - No Country for Old Men (will, should, and there shouldn't be any other nominees) Seriously, this is the best adaptation I've ever seen. The book is perfectly represented onscreen and deserves an extra Oscar for sheer awesomenacity.

Best Director - The Coens (will and should).

Look at that, I lied. I bored you with both lists anyway.