A Preacher, a Veteran, and two Lawyers walk into a bar...

Recently I promised a log political post, but I just don't know if I'm up for something long today.

What follows is essentially my political complaint of the week.

Delegates are being snatched up like kids at the county fair and I have to say, I'm not surprised. Mitt "the hair" Romney has given up, shaming Mormons and styling gel companies everywhere, leaving John "shaky McVeteran" McCain and Mike Huckabee (just 'cause I didn't give him a nickname doesn't mean I like him) to fight amongst themselves. Huckabee is way behind, but no doubt he'll rally his troops with a David and Goliath allusion before kicking the bucket himself sometime in mid-March. Meanwhile, Clinton (shudder) and Obama are tooth and nailing each other (that didn't sound right) in an incredibly -and unfortunately - close race.

Now, for the complaining.

I try and I try to listen to what every person running for President has to say. I honestly want to know what each of them thinks, why they think it, and if what they think might help this country. This is, however, impossible. It may sound like nothing new, but these people are lying all the time. They talk out both sides of their faces constantly, in a failing effort to be all things to all people. Take Clinton, who was for the war in Iraq, who now isn't, because her party says she shouldn't be. Take McCain, who opposed the war and pretty much everything else President Bush said up until about 18 months ago, when he started thinking about a Presidential campaign and therefore had to violently realign himself with the stricter conservatives within his party to retain those voters who had helped elect Bush twice. If you thought the great and glorious Reverend Huckster was going to be any different, think again. Just a few months before announcing his bid for the Presidency, Huckabee spoke passionately about discrimatory, damaging action proposed through immigration legislation, calling Minutemen backed legislation unfair and bigoted. Now, he's on the Deportation bandwagon along with his fellow running mates. I really like Obama, but I'm sure he hates palsied infants and the truth will out.

Cynicism is hard to fight, especially when you feel, like I do a lot of the time, that politicians seek only to please the most beneficial constituency. They quickly become a pitiful, molded, party-pumping model of stagnant thought. They are the opposite of bold and envigorating. They can afford to be strong and independent when they're governors or congresspeople because charm will take you a long long way in those roles (see Jesse Ventura), but, as Presidential candidates they have to be drones. Again, I'm supporting Obama wholeheartedly at this point, but I can't listen to the man speak because everything he says follows the same pattern: Hope, change change change, hope. Hope hope change my fellow candidate change hope hope change you can help us hope hope change. SUBSTANCE PLEASE! A REAL LEADER PLEASE! CAN I FIND AMONGST YOU JUST ONE WHOM I COULD PROUDLY CALL COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF!?

So, ladies and gentlemen, meet the next leader of the free world: An inevitable liar who owes their station in life to corporate contributors and past favors who will make waves and progress this country only insofar as it positively effects their re-election bid and their bank accounts post-Presidency.

Leffel would be disappointed in me, I'm sure. He was so thrilled with the process that he skipped the country, though, so I don't know what that means.

Talk me off the ledge, if you dare. I'll save you a spot up here when you come to your senses.